Out, Proud and Ready to Party: Sonoma GayDar Celebrates Two Years

It started, like many things do, with a complaint.

"A few friends and I got together one day and were commiserating about how, outside of Guerneville, there’s no gay bars for us to go to in Sonoma," said Gary Saperstein, 51. "Even though we live in a gay-friendly town, and we mix and mingle, once and a while it's nice to be in your community."

So Saperstein, along with a few friends and residents of his Boyes Hot Springs neighborhood, decided to create a gay scene, at least temporarily—gathering a LGBT group together for an evening at Estate in August of 2009. 

Then they started a Facebook group.

Now the group—named “Sonoma GayDar”—boasts over 400 fans, who, responding to Facebook posts and event invites, meet up at local restaurants and bars for mingling, and occasionally ‘take over’ theater productions and charity events for a flash-mob-style gay night.

The group, which celebrates their two year anniversary this Sunday at Estate, doesn’t limit themselves to the wine-scene: they hold a Halloween costume bash, Karaoke nights at (“Gay-re-okee,” quips Supenstein) and regularly host fundraisers for Queen of the Valley Medical Center and Face to Face, a Santa Rosa-based HIV clinic.

"Lots of relationships have spun off, people who have small businesses have met other people and they’ve gotten hired: it can be a networking group," said one founding member, who did not wish to be named.

For Saperstein starting Sonoma Gaydar gave him the "encouragement" needed to branch out professionally. About six-months after the founding of Gaydar, he launched Out in The Vineyard, a wine tour and party planning business, marked toward the LGBT lifestyle.

It’s also building countywide relationships. Sonoma GayDar’s held events with Napa Gorilla Gay Bar and Healdsburg’s Magnum Men’s Winetasting Group; in recent months they’ve seen an uptick in attendees from other communities, including Vallejo, Windsor, and Cotati, according to Saperstein, who’s working with a group in Santa Rosa who wants their own branch of ‘GayDar’.

“I would love to see Gaydar in like every part of our county,” Saperstein said. “Let people galvanize their own communities and let that expand to other communities. Then once a year, maybe, we can gather as the gay community of Sonoma County.”

As much as GayDar is focused on social connection, the group also provides a way for Sonoma residents interested in LGBT issues to connect virtually. Members post updates on same-sex marriage legislation and previews of queer theater openings in San Francisco.

"Does anyone know of a tax preparer in our area who is well versed in same-sex couples?" asked one group member. Within minutes she had two responses.

Moreover, Saperstein thinks the group makes it easier for people to make the move up north.

 “People who move here from San Francisco always say: “We thought we were moving to the country for this quiet country life and now we have a bigger group of friends than we do in the city,” said Saperstein. “It makes you feel that you’re moving someplace where you’re welcomed, where there is a community.”

Join Gaydar at their two year anniversary celebration Sunday, Aug. 21 · 4:30pm-7:30pm at . People of all genders and sexual orientations are welcome.